I’m one of Britain’s unclaimed treasures in the antique shop of life,
I’ve never been a sweetheart and I’ve never been a wife.
Nobody’s ever sent me a laced trimmed valentine,
Nobody’s ever told me “O dearest please be mine.”
Now why is this I ask myself I’m really not that bad?
Why am I told “You will never miss what you have never had.”?
I’ve tried it on with him and him and him and him and him,
I’ve looked with love and longing at Charles and Fred and Jim.
I’ve flirted with the husband of several of my mates,
But I’ve never made them jealous, well, I don’t get any dates.
My shelf’s getting very rickety; I hope that I don’t fall,
I’d have to scramble back myself, there’s none to hear my call.
O somebody who’s out there please hear my request,
Send to me a valentine, one of your very best.
Tell me I am wonderful; tell me I am kind,
But please, please, PLEASE don’t ever tell me that all true love is blind.
